Booked a plane ticket in the spur of the moment, maybe to flex my new found freedom muscles, to my soon to be new home. I had this plan of getting some work done on a parcel of land. The plans in my head were much easier to pull off than the actual reality of it. As per my usual. Lol

Everyone knows a guy! Seriously I needed some equipment and for days all I heard was call so and so, he knows a guy. Lol. All the guys were busy or had broken equipment!

Now I’m not gonna lie, I didn’t push too hard the first couple days. I found paddle boarding. Maybe I got a little into it too.

I’m thinking it will be a great way to start my days once I get moved.

Back to work, the actual reason for my trip. This is the way my days were going. Call some people wait and call and wait. No work just days passing. Well, just when I started to get a little worried thinking I had wasted my time, things fell into place. The right guy, another guy knew, actually came through! He is such an amazing guy too. This man can work wonders with a backhoe. My hero! Ok a hero for pay but he’s a cool ass dude. He even had a dump truck to get rid of stuff. My trip was redeemed.

Everything has its time.

I had to leave before all the work was completed but, luckily my brother was there as back up. Love that man.

I just realized, I’m a guy (girl) who knows a guy. Oh, and what a guy… Right on… lol

Road trip! Back to my temporary home. Feelings are kind of mixed right now.

Grateful for my family. Grateful for those who are here for me as things change. Grateful for those who don’t find the need to judge. So very grateful for the beauty in nature and it’s comforting stillness.

Many blessings to you and yours 💕

Isn’t it funny how things unfold. You meet people and some stay some leave. I find it so sad when leaving is their option. I guess some people are sent to us to either stay or teach us something. Who knows maybe they were never there, maybe they were a figment of the imagination.

How do people change like that? One minute caring the next poof gone. Does anyone mean what they say anymore?

A figment of the imagination I tell you! Ha!

Nevertheless I’m here. The same me, the one and only me and life goes on.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful for the non imaginary loves. I think I just need to let this sink in and see where it lands. I’m still here like I said and my feelings stay the same.

Have an amazing day with lots of love and kindness 💕

Chronicles of the last day of work:

Came out of the most amazing dream.

A wonderful man in a gray button up shirt was sitting with me on a bench outside. We had been talking about many things and he had said he had two pairs of wireless headphones. He said please just let me do something for you, anything. I said ok then I will take a pair of the headphones. I didn’t really care to have them but whatever. He smiled, we stood up he hugged me and I thought this is worth so much more to me. I just enjoyed the moment. Then we walked to his car, he opened the trunk and handed me a box. That’s where it ended, but, it was a beautiful connection, and a great start to my day.

The next hour or so was a flurry of getting ready for the day. No speaking.. my partner had no words other that angry ones. Which spoiled the whole best day ever mood. I had a little emotional breakdown… yeah not a moment to be proud of.

The commute was a quiet one…

An apology was made and so back on track.. lol I’m good!

Best morning ever!! Seriously nothing will bring me down.

Arrive at work, a coworker already here.. hmm

She had a present and a card all pretty on my desk. So sweet. She’s gonna miss me, lol. She has been my work wife for many years so it’s sad. Emails and fruit and hugs.. so many tears.

So after work, this happened a few times:

Thank God my husband poured me into our vehicle and drove me home. Tequila makes me all emotional. So I was a wreck. Tears and texting with family. If I texted you please don’t take it wrong, I was thinking of you and it was from my heart. I remember it all no worries. So got home, and to bed.

My last day at a job that I will definitely miss. I met so many wonderful people and learned so much. But it’s time for a new chapter .

Here I go!

I received a text from a friend today. A picture of a very handsome actor with the quote, “Sending a girl a text that says, Good morning beautiful, can change her attitude all day. ” Uh yeah!

So the conversation continued about how yeah, like that would ever happen and even just a picture of that smile would be sweet and so on. Ended on the note of dream on… dream big since we’re dreaming. Lol..

Send your love a text. Make his or her dream come true. See how a small gesture of kindness can change someone’s whole day.

My message to you right here right now;

Hi, thinking of you…. I hope your day is ridiculously amazing. Much love

I’m just sorry you won’t smell the strawberry scented paper I wrote it on.

Today has been a rough day. I’ve lost someone that was dear to me. I hope he knew how much he meant. Looking back in my mind of memories he smiled all the time and was always kind, funny, and smart, he was just an awesome person. I know you hear this about everyone when they pass, but, I seriously don’t remember this man ever being unkind. I only knew him my whole life, and that’s a long time. Lol

Ok so I almost drowned you at Willow lake. Remember my dear Buck (Robert)? I was just a kid and you asked to use my snorkel. The water was maybe waist deep and you put your head under the water and kept kinda swimming around. I was a fool and thought what will happen if I put my finger in the snorkel at the top. Well, hello… You couldn’t breathe! After a few seconds, you stood up all freaked out and your eyes all big, and sucking for air. Omg, the look on your face! Even now, I’m laughing so hard I’m crying. Good thing it was shallow. No, you didn’t get mad but, it was a story we laughed at for years to come…one of many.

You were ill and I know you are no longer suffering but you will be dearly missed.

Hasta luego manito.

A year ago my heart put into motion one of the biggest jumps of my life. Have you ever felt that? Your heart just says this is it, and your soul concurs. It just stays there in the back of your mind and you can’t make it stop. I usually just stuff it down and go about my life but this time it was a pull so hard that there was no ignoring it.

In 25 days life as I know it will be a completely different thing. When I try to focus on this it tightens my chest and makes it a little hard to breathe. The past 17 years have been a blur of monotonous day in day out work and fast moving weekends. Even though I know this is the right move for me at this time it’s one of the scariest steps I have ever taken. I can’t wait.

My job is one that anyone would love. Too bad it’s in the wrong state. I will definitely miss the people I see on a regular basis and yes the regular income is a bit of a concern as well. However, I just know it’s going to be better.

Doubts? I’ve had a few but, there’s this place inside where I can just feel that it’s the right move. That place is calm and lit, I wish I could share this feeling with everyone. I guess we should always follow that little voice inside us all. Step out of our comfort zones and just rock it.

Have you done this? Felt this way? How many people out there have actually just laid it all down and said oh what the heck? I’m outta here? How did it go? When I tell someone my plan I expect to hear, are you crazy!? But for the most part, I get, wow, I wish I could do that. I’m always a little shocked when I hear that. I just want to say, you can. We all can. However I know how hard it can be. Uncertainty can bring you down, way down.  I’m very lucky to have so many loved ones cheering me on. Making it the right decision for us all.

So I took my first bike ride after the big fall. Ha! It was amazing. The weather was beautiful and it just felt great. I felt a little scared at first. Wasn’t sure the wrist would be strong enough to manage the brake. There are other people on that trail and that worries me. They can be so wrapped up in what they are doing that they tend to not see someone coming. So yes there was pain. Not enough to make me turn back though. My self confidence came back after a few miles and it turned out to be a pretty darned good ride.

The one thing that stood out was the dragonflies. Blue ones and they kept coming around. I took this as a good sign. Now I’m not talking about just seeing one or two. I mean I kept seeing them through the whole ride. They would buzz by my head. It was pretty cool.

Then the Good Year air ship. It was just flying by.

I need to get a helmet camera. So much passes by before I can get my phone out. Plus, I would be there all day taking pictures if I could.

My trusty steed

I stopped midway and this time had a little snack even if it wasn’t a super long ride. Call me chicken. I’m good with that.

You know pride goeth before the fall. So true, in my case anyway. lol

Near the end of my ride there was a cute little deer that stopped mid step in front of me then hopped off. I love when they hop like that. Cute and graceful. My heart was full.

On the jump phase of my life. Papers are sent in. So now just waiting to make sure they are all in order. These are papers for early retirement from the company I work at. Not long now…