It’s only been two days.

But, you know I miss you . I am having trouble wrapping my mind around the fact that you’re gone. I never thought you would leave this earth before me.

So today we are in limbo, waiting for the permit to cremate your body. It’s difficult to function like normal. Everyday things like getting showered and dressed is very difficult. Taking me awhile to get going. Everyone keeps asking if I’m eating. They need to stop. There’s a knot in my stomach, and I’m cold, Always cold. I’ll drink hot drinks and keep going the best that I can. I don’t want to do anything or see anyone. Do others feel this way after losing their second and last child?

I wanted to call you at least twice today. I sent you videos of things I know you would like.

So guess what!? Joe ate 2 slices of pepperoni pizza! Mr vegan, yep. I bet you’re laughing your head off. I told him, if Cry’s was here I would have called her to tell on you. He just laughed. I can’t even understand what the deal was with that. We have other food. He’s taking this pretty hard. You meant a lot to him, too.

People keep sending me messages, all in shock. You were so loved, and so well thought of. I wish you had known this.

We are all in shock, devastated and just trying to understand what to do.

I hope you’re happy and free.

I love you and will miss you the rest of my life.

Mom