Everytime

Every single time..

I lose someone and it’s like…

Just another moment… just one more…

This one is the worst… I still hear your laugh.. it was like music… one of those rare ones…

Sometimes I wish that I could wish it all away….

Raq…

Irony

There is irony in the healing…

On the daily there seems to be a deep vortex of blackness that swallows me up by late afternoon. Yet I have found that by evening a letter from a stranger far away telling me of his life and daily happenings can actually help. For just a few minutes I can see life through someone else’s eyes. The only person that may actually get it. No tip toeing around what’s happened and actually showing up. What a special kind of person. A real friend? Isn’t it ironic? Who shows up and who doesn’t.

Here’s to real people… they are so rare….

The song? Just a smooth lovely listen.

✌️❤️

Raq

Carry on?

How does one move on?

One foot in front of the other as before. I suppose.

This world is a lonely place, especially when you’re on the inside looking out. Smile and everyone will think you’re ok.

Is it even real?

In a time of grief…. You see things even clearer. ( is that a word?)

Wish I could trade places….

I miss you more than life…

✌️❤️

The last letter

I don’t even know where to start.. the heartache? The beginning?

Memories flood my mind of you as a child, as a teen, as a father.. your smile, laugh, and how you would try to protect me.

I suppose every mother who loses a child thinks the thoughts of I was supposed to go first.. how dare you? Were you alone? Did you know you were leaving us? I’m so selfish thinking how your death will affect my life.. your children? How will they grow up without you?

This is a the last song you posted on your Facebook… did you know?

You are the first who called me Raq.. so you could get my attention anywhere. It worked..

I will forever miss you.. like as long as I live anyway..

Sleep well my son

A legend

So there’s this Aztec legend.

The legend is of course one of love. The love story of two young Aztecs, Xóchitl and Huitzilin.

Starts from when they are little children. They spent all their spare time together playing. As they grew older they hiked to the top a close by mountain. There they would offer flowers to the sun god Tonatiuh. Here they swore to each other that their love would last forever.

War broke out and Huitzilin was killed. When Xóchitl found out, she felt as if her world was falling apart. She took one last hike to the top of their mountain and asked the sun god to somehow join her to her love.

A ray of sunlight gently touched her cheek. Turning her into a beautiful fiery flower. A cempasuchil. (Marigold) just then a hummingbird gently touched the center of the flower. The hummingbird being Huitzilin. The flower opened its petals and filled the air with it’s beautiful and mysterious scent. They will always be together. At least as long as there are marigolds and hummingbirds.

So someone close to me had read about this legend and says, it’s so Mexican to love someone even in death. We are so dark… lol

However love is love and sometimes we’ve really no choice in the matter. The heart wants what the soul determines is a match. Tread lightly in making someone care for you.. they only need their one..

Peace my loves

R

The feelings of a song

It’s a beautiful thing how music can take you to a place inside. Music… the only thing that doesn’t let you down..

This one takes me back to walks in the beautiful city of Hollister CA. My gut telling me what I already knew. Listening to it brings it all back. That gut knows!

✌️❤️

Raq