How it feels

How does it feel?

Going through daily motions, when it’s obvious that it’s the last thing a person wants to do.

Maybe a good disconnect… or reconnect? Ha!

It’s a terrible thing to waste.

My first song choice fell away as soon as this came on.

Because seriously you don’t know how it feels, until it’s you.

 Let me run with you tonight
I’ll take you on a moonlight ride

… There’s someone I used to see
But he don’t give a damn for me

… But let me get to the point, let’s roll another joint
And turn the radio loud, I’m too alone to be proud
And you don’t know how it feels
You don’t know how it feels to be me

Yup a song for everything….

✌️ 🖤

Irony

There is irony in the healing…

On the daily there seems to be a deep vortex of blackness that swallows me up by late afternoon. Yet I have found that by evening a letter from a stranger far away telling me of his life and daily happenings can actually help. For just a few minutes I can see life through someone else’s eyes. The only person that may actually get it. No tip toeing around what’s happened and actually showing up. What a special kind of person. A real friend? Isn’t it ironic? Who shows up and who doesn’t.

Here’s to real people… they are so rare….

The song? Just a smooth lovely listen.

✌️❤️

Raq

Carry on?

How does one move on?

One foot in front of the other as before. I suppose.

This world is a lonely place, especially when you’re on the inside looking out. Smile and everyone will think you’re ok.

Is it even real?

In a time of grief…. You see things even clearer. ( is that a word?)

Wish I could trade places….

I miss you more than life…

✌️❤️

The last letter

I don’t even know where to start.. the heartache? The beginning?

Memories flood my mind of you as a child, as a teen, as a father.. your smile, laugh, and how you would try to protect me.

I suppose every mother who loses a child thinks the thoughts of I was supposed to go first.. how dare you? Were you alone? Did you know you were leaving us? I’m so selfish thinking how your death will affect my life.. your children? How will they grow up without you?

This is a the last song you posted on your Facebook… did you know?

You are the first who called me Raq.. so you could get my attention anywhere. It worked..

I will forever miss you.. like as long as I live anyway..

Sleep well my son

Future?

I heard this song that I love. I loved it because it filled me with hope. Hope of the future and happiness of looking back and remembering the highlights…

Today it only filled me with sadness. Sadness for all those who are not going to have that chance. For us all….

Our world has changed and I fear it will never be the same.

Stay safe and healthy..

So much love and peace to you and yours,

Raq